The Diarist In Me

There’s something about public interaction/confrontation/appearance that creeps the shyer one’s out of social hangings. Maybe it’s just, maybe it isn’t. 

In the past few days I have been giving a go at writing. Even though I have been writing for a long while, although not on a regular basis, I never was confident in my writing, or my mental capability to do so. Recently though, I decided that it was important that I gave it a go and not worry about the outcome initially.. Because how will you know if you’re good, or bad, at something when you don’t take it seriously and test yourself out?

I always knew, deep in my gut, that I was never meant to be a diarist. You see, you need some kind of constant factor within yourself to be entertaining while at it. Even though I believe that everyone’s life is unique and worth even writing about.. Mine may not be all that charming written in cold, hard text – even if I’m the only one who thinks that, you always need it inside you to do something in order to be successful at it. 

To be a diarist, I think, you need to be a solid person from within, who’s a firm believer in what he believes in, and knows exactly how he feels about things (like my younger sister). I, on the other hand, am not at all that. I’d rather change all the time with no past records to prove that I have.. Experiment, even if it may be risky at times. There’s always a better opportunity in bold letters waiting for your attention, approval and action upon it. ‘Tis only the human brain that skips that, and goes instead to write his ego across the country in bold letters to have some sort of significance, deeper, and in many ways, better than others. 

I really don’t know why I cannot write posts that are much more entertaining, although they can be superficial and need little/no brains to muscle out concepts and ideas and perceptions through its lovely being. I wouldn’t say I was being arrogant.. Just that this is the sad truth that I have to live with and also, by. I’d rather that some lazy day I sit under the three with a diary in hand and writing all that has happened throughout the day.. But that doesn’t happen does it? Firstly because I don’t have many problems (thank God for that), secondly, I love life and refuse to be depressed/upset during it.. Even for a couple of hours.. Just doesn’t happen. So, instead I start writing about the reason behind any good/bad thing that has happened through the day and forget about the hurt and upsetting situation in a jiffy. Leaving me with no violent emotion.. And without that, how can I ever become a good diarist? 


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