Bully Off: Bigger Than It Seemed

 
I had a hard time with bullying. I ate lunch in the bathroom. – Julianne Hough
 

Keeping in mind the current world affairs and happenings, a kid beating up another, or making fun of another may, and its possible later damages may seem small – but are they really? Think about it, how can bullying be taken as lightly as it is?

The mind-boggling and horribly misguided notion that bullying will make your child tough and will teach him some lessons about life is ridiculous. How can hurting your child’s feeling and, hence, damaging his/her brain bring him to any good fortune? If anything, he/she will be shunned from society for being odd or cautious, as a result. To understand why it is wrong, we will have to understand the very nature of our social structure.

  • What is our society made up of? Families. 
  • How are these families made? When a man and a woman sign a legal contract to live together as one, and reproduce, mean while, to keep up the human species
  • Why are families made? So that when a male and female human being come together as one, they can provide a complete home for a child to be raised in a stable individual, who will later take part in the same society, and will reproduce. The reason for there parents is to give children emotional, mental and physical protection, IN ALL FORMS, till they are a suitable age to lead their own lives.
  • What is the most sensitive time for children? They have different stages of growth when during their incubation time:
  1. From birth to when they are 10, they grow physically, and some mental growth
  2. From 10 to 17, they grow emotionally, and some other physical changes occur, that are related to reproduction. During this time children are VERY sensitive, and may be the time where they are prone to being bullied, or bully other kids
  3. From 17 and on-wards they grow mentally, becoming mature and are then let out into the world because this is the time where they should* be stable emotionally, mentally and physically. 

‘Mama, there is this guy in school, he eats all my food and ruins all my work!’ ‘Hmm?’


By justifying bullying you are tearing apart the very purpose for there being a family in the first place, and hence the reason behind the need and  invention of marriage.

One out of seven kids are bullied – homosexuals, usually. Is it not unfair?

If only someone would listen..

There are many forms of bullying.. Cyber, verbal, physical etc but you cant compare and suggest which one would result in more damage.. All kinds are wrong and they need to be stopped now!

It saddens me so much to see all the blog posts on personal bullying experiences. I was bullied a lot as well, usually for my odd looks – a bob, rabbit teeth, an odd carelessness and glasses get you no where. But I never took it seriously.. Later when I grew up, I finally realized that I had been bullied, too, in the bus, more often than not. Not with a bad intention, but not with any good either. But that’s because I knew my parents would be standing next to through every step of the way.. And I hope I can provide that sort of surety to my children as well, if not more. Don’t suffocate your kids with your love and paranoia, but don’t take that right of being protected from them. They need it more than you know.

If you haven’t spoken to your kids about it, talk to them soon. Please.

*In special cases it is possible that your child isnt. That will be either because of your carelessness, or some disease and the like. Please pay close attention to such children, they need you more than the normal and regular ones.
 

A Poem:

My name is Bobby;

Although you never hear me speak,

I’ve lots to say.

Even though you never see me smile,

Deep inside I’m still your child.

Although you don’t know my name,

I breathe in and out just the same.

This game you play, I don’t know the rules,

I go to school, and I try to be,

The child you dream.

One foot forward and two steps back,

you did it wrong now take that slap.

Get off the floor you silly fool;

Go cry your tears into Winnie the Pooh.

You have no choice, you are my child, No one cares if you live or die. Don’t say a word, Don’t tell a soul. You must be so good, They’ll think you’re made of gold.

Did you play this with your dad? You were his only son. Why are you so mad? Why do you make me run? I lie beneath my bed; the pillow no longer drowns the dread.

What made you so mad? You only hit me once yet I feel so sad. I’m in my room upon my knees, hoping that you will see, the hurting child inside of me. I’m praying that lightening will strike; will I die before the morning light?

I don’t want to play this game, I don’t know the rules, I don’t want to play your stupid game no more. Take away the board, smash it on the floor, Daddy won’t you let me know the way, to play this game you play, I’ll learn the rules someday,

I promise if you let me run away…

(Whispered)

I won’t say a word,
I won’t tell a soul,
I will be so good;
you’ll think I’m made of gold.

(Whispered lower)
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Life Stories: The Swap

At the moment, we have two people working to help maintain this house. A housekeeper and a guard. The guard is the housekeeper’s father, white beard and the like, but really nice. The housekeeper’s daughter used to work for us as well, who is now 16 and about to get married and is pretty happy.

The housekeeper, Shaheena, is not happy in her marriage. Although her husband is really nice, as a person, but pretty selfish. For example, he does work, labour work usually, but all the money he earns he spends on himself, giving the family close to nothing out of that. So, naturally the wife had to start working in other people’s homes and even involved one of her daughters into it, but she didnt realise that that daughter will get spoiled and start having affairs around.

In any case, Shaheena, when 16 herself, went through an unfortunate event, some 22 years back. Her mother had passed away when she was really young, and he father couldnt keep around 4 kids all by himself, so he decided he needed to marry. His ex-wife’s brother’s daughter seemed pretty good, also raising 4 kids on her own, she was also a good woman. Now here, this woman’s father asked Shaheena’s father that in order to marry their daughter, he would have to marry Shaheena to their son, aka the single woman’s brother. Shaheena’s father agreed. The women were swapped, leaving Shaheena very unhappy till now.

When Shaheena was telling me this story, she was sad, you could see it in her eyes, but pride would not let her demand sympathy, instead she hid her pain by cracking jokes, about how now her father was technically her cousin’s husband.

This isnt unknown in the Pathan culture, we take marriages the union of two people irrespective of relation, except of siblings.

Now she is educating her kids. Shazeenay, the 16 year old is getting married and very happy about it. My dad promised to employ her husband in a more permanent position and well paid. Her father is content.

And even after all this, Shaheena is thankful to Allah, and grateful for whatever she has and has had.

This short story is not fictitious at all, rather a documentation. 

But the point is, are all the girls who are victim to such unfair treatment at such an early age happy and grateful for what they have? Even if they do end up happy, does it mean its fair? Certainly not. 

Spread the word. In Pakistan surprisingly this phenomenon is not as wide-spread as some other countries. I would know living in a Pathan village. 

When people say that Islam encourages such behavior, I don’t blame them for thinking so. The image that Muslims have spread across the world concerning themselves and Islam will induce emotions and thoughts like that. Our people say, oh don’t look at us, look at our idea! Right, isn’t one’s idea supposed to represent him, and vice versa?

Islam does not support marrying underage girls. Maulvis might, the messed up ones.