Life Stories: The Swap

At the moment, we have two people working to help maintain this house. A housekeeper and a guard. The guard is the housekeeper’s father, white beard and the like, but really nice. The housekeeper’s daughter used to work for us as well, who is now 16 and about to get married and is pretty happy.

The housekeeper, Shaheena, is not happy in her marriage. Although her husband is really nice, as a person, but pretty selfish. For example, he does work, labour work usually, but all the money he earns he spends on himself, giving the family close to nothing out of that. So, naturally the wife had to start working in other people’s homes and even involved one of her daughters into it, but she didnt realise that that daughter will get spoiled and start having affairs around.

In any case, Shaheena, when 16 herself, went through an unfortunate event, some 22 years back. Her mother had passed away when she was really young, and he father couldnt keep around 4 kids all by himself, so he decided he needed to marry. His ex-wife’s brother’s daughter seemed pretty good, also raising 4 kids on her own, she was also a good woman. Now here, this woman’s father asked Shaheena’s father that in order to marry their daughter, he would have to marry Shaheena to their son, aka the single woman’s brother. Shaheena’s father agreed. The women were swapped, leaving Shaheena very unhappy till now.

When Shaheena was telling me this story, she was sad, you could see it in her eyes, but pride would not let her demand sympathy, instead she hid her pain by cracking jokes, about how now her father was technically her cousin’s husband.

This isnt unknown in the Pathan culture, we take marriages the union of two people irrespective of relation, except of siblings.

Now she is educating her kids. Shazeenay, the 16 year old is getting married and very happy about it. My dad promised to employ her husband in a more permanent position and well paid. Her father is content.

And even after all this, Shaheena is thankful to Allah, and grateful for whatever she has and has had.

This short story is not fictitious at all, rather a documentation. 

But the point is, are all the girls who are victim to such unfair treatment at such an early age happy and grateful for what they have? Even if they do end up happy, does it mean its fair? Certainly not. 

Spread the word. In Pakistan surprisingly this phenomenon is not as wide-spread as some other countries. I would know living in a Pathan village. 

When people say that Islam encourages such behavior, I don’t blame them for thinking so. The image that Muslims have spread across the world concerning themselves and Islam will induce emotions and thoughts like that. Our people say, oh don’t look at us, look at our idea! Right, isn’t one’s idea supposed to represent him, and vice versa?

Islam does not support marrying underage girls. Maulvis might, the messed up ones. 

Bitter Twitter

The micro-blogging site, Twitter, has been blocked and taken from all the users, well, use. Government officials claim that there was a blasphemous topic being discussed, on the site, regarding Muhammad PBUH. Which hurts me, too, mind you, but that does not mean we mess around with people’s freedom of speech and the decision of visiting/not visiting that site. Naturally, they contacted Twitter’s administration to bring it down, to which Twitter’s people comfortably replied that they “cannot stop any individual doing anything of this nature on the website”. Great. What does our government do? Of course, block the blasphemous website which supports freedom of speech: how dare they!

So that’s done and dusted, what next? They are not sure how long will they keep it blocked, either. I, personally, have proxy software (which I am sure most of my Pakistani fellows are using at the moment), but put to no good use. Somehow, even that does not respond where Twitter is concerned. Internet Service Providers (ISPs) have done a good job (but you can use Twitter from your mobile devices) or simply the proxy recognizes you’re from Pakistan Even though the reports claim that they have simply blocked access of Islamabad, Lahore, Karachi and Multan, mainly PTCL’s internet connection; where does Baffa, Mansehra come in the mixture, where I am right now? I wonder.

They also say that this step was taken on the behalf of the masses, who were taking this issue seriously (and emotionally). How about the other chunk of people that are on Twitter and, also, believe in freedom of speech? They must suffer, yes.

This move could be completely political, as well. Pakistan Tehreeq-e-Insaaf, the key element of the coming elections, is at the heart of this action. The topic is related to Islam, making it a sensitive one over the masses, and a suitable tool to be used. By doing this they will gain the trust of sensitive Muslims, since obviously PTA has their best interest at heart. Playing with public sentiments is not a new thing at all to get better poll ratings for so-and-so political party. Hell, even Obama is taking a shot at it!

In any case, Pakistan is not the first country to be behaving this strongly towards actions rooted in Twitter’s millions of ‘followers’ who come from all sorts of cultures, religions and general backgrounds. Having said that, of course there are going to be extremists and prejudiced people on it, as well, so that obviously needed some curbing; too much freedom is never healthy, anyway. In the beginning of this year, though, Twitter had officially announced that they could and will block/remove tweets and account-holders if the said person’s/concerned tweet’s country’s government was to deem it inappropriate or simply may complain (if Twitter did not block/remove the person/tweet): twitter encourages countrymen to go haywire where the country’s acceptable actions and unacceptable actions’ boundaries clash, and making it apparent that the nation would be ‘all right’ with anything, even if they did not agree with it. Of course that is not so, and if anyone thought that it was is living 200 years ahead of time where countries let their people be.

But, alas, there’s another oddity: Twitter, after only 5 months of stating that they would respond to government’s requests/notifications affirmatively, suddenly decided that it was not going to help Pakistan. Why not? Twitter gets an estimated 730 million hits a month on average. Yes, it’s crazy but true. They have even experienced a recent spike, going up to 760 million (and onwards). We are definitely not a large percentage missing, but still we are missing, and I doubt Twitter’s too happy about it.

Sure, Twitter’s really fun and addictive, and, if not thousands, then hundreds of Pakistanis will have a bad day because of the blockage, but that’s not the only reason why this action was wrong. Even though Twitter contradicted itself by not responding to our governments requests, they do have a point: human freedom is one thing that America said it would work for, and they have, its bad effects are besides the point right now. Freedom of thought, speech and action is the essential ingredient for a human being, and his damned right. Taking away Twitter like that is clearly stating that they dont care for our freedom, which is very, very unfair. Being an ‘Islamic’ Republic of Pakistan, how can they not know that Quran is based on fairness?

Let’s see where we are headed. Perhaps, short and sweet ‘Pakistan’ would do?

Love Versus The World

Life is full of highs and lows, positives and negative, sureties and chances. When we enter this world, we are gifted a beautifully wrapped package of uncertainties and the enormous realization of the unknown. And sometimes, fear of both those sensations is thrown in for the sensitive and faint hearted. The audaciously awkward moment, when the fact that you are all alone in this world, hits you, that is when you realize how insignificant and helpless you are, and how much exactly you would love to believe in a God watching over us, individually.

If it were not for the family system, we would not have a society, whatsoever. We would all be individuals trying to go on living in our own ways and finding out the goods and bads, rights and wrongs and every other thing that society or our families teach us in the usual way. Nothing would be the same if that were the case; I wouldn’t be the person I am. But since we are very much animals, it makes sense that someone takes care of us in our first twenty, and most important, years; important because they will decide what kind of people we will be in the future. First physical, then emotional, and by the end of it, mental development and its later maturity is very important.

There is no denying that the logical and sentimental importance of emotions, and thoughts, to a human being are equally alike, inconsiderate of the order in which (for the time being). If I were to hurt someone, not only would that person have emotions and thoughts in the very instant, but even I, of the moment when I did, would not completely be inconsiderate of the reasons and actions that lead me to hurting the person.

This brings me to what I actually wanted to discuss.

This was one of the many, very usual evenings where I pay the bathroom a visit to brush my teeth for the night, and, also, usually having the same infuriating carriage to my being (slightly lopsided and somewhat dreamy). Nights like these are reserved for philosophical thoughts and psychological understanding of humans, in general, which are slowly but surely carried out. Having an outlook of a somewhat routine, my mind comfortably shifts gears from emotional outbursts to logical thinking, and then to sentimental, mental isolation (that my family needs to start treating as physical isolation as well, out of respect). It is always sparked by one of two things: some man/woman acts in a way that strips any – and all – concepts of love and selflessness from my mind, and/or something overwhelms me and, more often than not, confuses me even.

The question that has been bothering me so is why is it so hard to express your love for someone? Be it your mother, sibling, father or even best friend. Why do I not need to will myself to get angry but still will myself to hug or kiss someone to let them know that I’m not made of stone. If only telepathy was really common we would not have to go through the pains of physically expressing our love/care for someone. Even words can come under physicality, by the by, since they do have a physical presence in this very much physical world. Since love and kindness are very important things, why havent human beings advanced in it’s understanding, which would have lead to other ways of expressing it. I know making breakfast for someone even can be taken as an example, but it should have advanced till now.

I know there are many ways to express what you feel, but it shouldn’t only be limited to physical expression – we aren’t animals, right?

Amusing Waters

Every bath brings along a new change within me, and so, with-out. These changes vary from bath to bath, but there is one consistent change that I very much value; the ability to humor myself and others, i.e. take things lightly and be witty about it. No, really, it’s an art – one I haven’t mastered and gotten under my wing… Yet.

Envying people comes easily to me, but then I make a point to develop a healthy relation, but that’s selfish, since then I can know their secret and, maybe, one day become somewhat like them – till I find someone else envy-worthy and then I shift my attention to them, leaving the former desperate to understand where did their best friend go.

Anyway, humor is really important to go through life with. How else do you expect to laugh through tough times and other odd situations that concern very odd people who do very, very odd things? You must laugh. There’s no going around that conclusion.

Somehow, though, one can never exactly remember when one has been laughing and it’s cause.

Oh well, must be worth something, no?

Coming back to the real topic, baths can be magical and life-changing – if you want them to be, that is. Accepting all sorts of change is so important that one should always give everything/everyone the benefit of a doubt. I know I’d want one, especially after a bath.

The Other Side Of The Argument

Mini Blogging: Giving Up

The supremely helpless realization that you really cant do much to change things in this world. Everyone somewhat realizes it, but hardly ever anyone you see will succumb to losing their wits over it. Many have and will give up, I am beginning to wonder if I should too. After all, intentions count, right?

Dont tell my friends, but sometimes I wish my sun sign had more ambitious traits in it. Not that I cant awaken it by the so-called mental will, just that Aquarius’ nature might get the best of me when it comes to control and my mind may lose the war.

See?

Consequential Surety

Hello, squirrels…

I recently realized that I don’t actually blog the latest incidents, I brainstorm here. Every time I have something to say, which can’t be said to people around me, or maybe I generally I don’t want to talk about it, lifting the laptop’s lid and opening up MS Word is the quickest solution to just relieve myself of the emotions or thoughts I want to dispose of by providing some sort of outlet for them. And it’s safe. Nobody gets hurt or has to carry any burden which I have selfishly bestowed upon their inhibited shoulder, which may or may not be willing to carry it.. And worse off, may want to dispose of (to lighten up) on some other miserable soul who does the same thing, and eventually it brushes up against some bad, bad soul. So the internet was a VERY safe and sturdy option where I don’t actually have to see the ripple effects real-time.. Yeah.

Although, blogs may be for that particular reason, venting may be one of the most crucial ingredients to make a personal blog, well, personal. After all, why do people prefer blogs over websites (when it comes to knowledge, not info, which might be more accurate on websites)? It provides human contact and insight on topics and things that you may think differently upon. See, we can agree on the fact that most people are more or less different from each other and hold different opinions/point of views about most things, so blogs give us a perfect outlet to express what we feel about particular topics and for others to then agree/disagree/ignore us. But it doesn’t matter, at the end of the day you know that you have written down what you felt. Albeit, a person like me, who has very few fixed opinions on things and even they keep morphing, blogging becomes quite a confusing task since I’d be jumping all over the page without the slightest clue of how to finish what I’ve initiated. Some people, though, have opinions figured out and organized in, arguably, the queerest fashion. My mind can’t come to terms with the fact that opinions can be so decided upon and then, later, applied upon too! Personally, I’ve come across many people who just know what they want and how they are going to get it… Although, mind you, such people may not be the smartest of the bunch and there’s a very logical explanation for that.

There are dozens of sides to every single subject (imaginable) in the world; if not then it isn’t worth wasting your time upon. But we have been proven again and again that everything has much more to do its existence justice.

I shall sign off now, although there’s this topic I’ve been meaning to write about, but maybe a separate post would be a better consideration.

Toodles.

 

 

Sentimental Logic

Every time I lose someone, I think about all the other complex souls waiting for me on this planet and the life after. There are too many things to do and think over than to waste energy on lost souls that were lame enough to ditch.

Anywho, I would’ve probably done the same.. Somehow bonding and breaking up in the flash of a second comes a bit too easily for me! Cant decide if its morally/ethically right and wrong, but its handy when you dont want shallow/flat/lame/bleugh relations to surround you. For example, when one’s quick to develop a bond then that person will actually care for what the other one has to say, right? Of course, if you dont connect, then you’ll take the other person lightly. When you’re quick to break off as soon as you realize that it isn’t going to work out, then you’re helping yourself, and the other dweeb, big time!

Say, if me and another person are always arguing or want different things, then we’ll never be able to develop a strong bond, eventually making all efforts to make that happen will go in vain.. Now, who wants that? Plus, the longer you take on the breaking up scenario and getting over it, the more time and energy you’re going to waste on something that has no future whatsoever. It is very much possible, that people carry a relation on just to have fun, or not to develop bad taste towards each other. But honestly, when you dont actually like someone and dont want to keep a regular contact, then keeping a shallow (and somewhat low in value) relation is just pathetic, both logically and emotionally. Unless the person is amazing, and a lovely human being, and you both dont connect on a couple of things but still end up having a lovely meet and greet that leaves a smile on your face for the remaining part of the day, then just let go.

I dont see why is it that hard! Logic will always trump emotion for me and I dont see anything wrong with that, since emotions are a tool that inspire thoughts and logic makes us understand, process and let us decides which one of those thoughts to keep or discard. 

Larger Than Viewed

Mosquito on Water. (Full version of the header image).

Help, Yelp, Droll

Recent events have been such that they have left my nerves and emotions raw, vulnerable and (more than I’d like) accessible. So, really, what’s greater in value? Losing a son/brother/friend, a family and trust or… Gaining love and respect from friends, life aims and priorities put into an orderly form, lots of candy to consume at your own disposal? Well, this previous week has been an odd jumble of all these absurd/factual-but-not-so-unusual things happening. There has been a rather large amount of emotional and shocking outbursts, that it leaves my mouth hanging open while the complexities of a general human’s nature continues to shake the very core of my existence, and forces my mind to make a rather large amount judgments (even those that I would carelessly ridicule and make fun of).

I even hurt a person. Oh wait, before you get the wrong impression, I didn’t realize that it would hurt the man… I expected some understanding of how I was truly saint-like and it’s not just an act. Ugh, moving on…

Another resolution (one that needs to be adapted by people in general before its way too late) is to control my urge to use ‘I’, ‘me’, ‘my’ etc. in sentences that don’t necessarily need them. In fact, just generally stop being so insecure about people trampling over your personal interests and, ehem, egos! Honestly, life’s too short for insecurities and complexes… I’d rather get hurt but at least be open and genuine, even if that means being truly vulnerable to the wrong people. It may seem reckless, or even childish, but what’s the point of making cocoons and living a life that is all-too-common, anyway? Unless you are tempted to get down on snorting some drug into your system, I don’t think there should be much harm except you might be left with some odd emotional issues that will deliver some depth into your otherwise flat personality.

Anyhow…

Have loads of catching up with the political and economical situation that has shaken up the world into a storm, enter Kony. Now, see, I have no idea who that is except he has something to do with Uganda. Don’t worry, will read about him eventually!

By the by, been indulging in a major fun spree the past ten days or so, as well. We’ve been devouring candies and mushy series alike, which is, no doubt, AWESOME!

Hope you guys had a loverly a satisfactory weekend!

P.S: Now shall go watch some cheesy movie to make things better with Maggi.