Inspired Update

Woke up earlier than usual. Spent the whole day thinking, philosophizing and getting inspired to become a physicist in the purest, deepest meaning of the word.

The search led me to a search on Google where I needed to look at something, ANYTHING, that would instigate a scientific, mathematical, and creative eagerness in me that would sustain all through to a PhD and further.

And here I am now, after having spent the entire day studying mathematics in the beautifully windy, rainy, sunny weather outside in the front veranda. And then later on drinking coffee and then watching a few episodes of the BBC’s The Paradise (recommended).

Lying on my stomach on a silky, royal blue comforter that feels cool to the touch with oil on my eye brows, stinging eyes, and the temptation to pray.

Good night, all you love monkeys. 

I hope I dream of fairies and secret gardens full of glowing flowers and the promise of an adventure. I hope that you do too.

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Dust Clouds and Rainy Days

The truth of the matter is I have no idea what to blog about. I am the same person, sure, with the same amount of thoughts, but I also change. Hence I have decided to jump right into it and wing it, if you’ll bare with me. 

Everyone lies, we know that pretty well by now. But what is it about lying that just puts us down or sets us off? Is it the dishonesty? Most probably. But we are all dishonest in our day to day life, in the small things we do, when we interact with other people etc. But then we also differentiate between lies and ‘white’ lies. Now white lies are where the person lying has innocent or not malicious  intentions behind. Then there are different kinds of people, some will not lie at all, some will hide but not lie, some will lie to get revenge or the usual bad intention dishonesty, then there are the white liars, then there are people who will lie but will be egotistical about it and will never admit that they lied,  and some will admit. 

What is the best case scenario, and what is the worst? Well, that’s obvious. 

Recently, it has been nagging me that ‘would I be okay with someone lying to me?’ And I realized, that depends. For example, our parents keep things from us all the time, and when you later find out what they were you realize that they made a good decision as it would not help you, in that stage in life. 

So, even though it hurts your ego, you have to admit its not dishonesty, it’s the intentions that matter. It hurt my ego quite a bit. It is also the case that at times people lie and hide because they are ashamed of something, or simply not ready to open up. You can’t call that lying, that’s basic survival. Because they feel that if they tell you that particular thing prematurely, you might go away. 

We have developed a very odd society, which actually prospers in its famous way when people act like something they are not. When they hide their flaws by putting on make up, or use their dad’s name for perks, or hide the mistakes they made by lying and cheating. Genuine human emotions and desire are obviously going to fizzle out in rainy weather like this, where you have to duck and cover all of your being to be comfortable. Yes, comfortable. You will still live if you walk out in the rain, as much as society tells you that you will not survive. You might get wet, but you will be free. Our societies do not support that because then we would all walk out and create a dust cloud of things, which God only knows if ever will settle, and we humans are very afraid of erratic, random, unexplained, unexpected behavior. We are wusses, quite frankly. And oddly, is this same society, people will celebrate people who are different, who did follow society’s rigid rules, who grew out of it. At the same time we know that everyone is not exactly an Einstein, so if we give unquestioned freedom to people who are not yet, lets say, prepared for that kind of responsibility, what do we do with them? That is exactly where society comes in the limelight. It helps people who are not prepared to mature in an environment which is stable and dependable, and safe. 

Basically it all comes down to one thing: balancing between what is fair and just and what is not. And the minute we tip it more towards the negative side, we lose our way. Everything is beautiful, and admirable in a poetic way, but what is true does not change, and neither should we deviate from that. 

Enter: Freedom; Leave: Respect – A Rant

We all hear stories of how our parents and grandparents and the people around them, and people in general, of older times were ‘better’ to each other, there was respect, and equality.

Why isn’t it so anymore?

With the rise of consumerism, and with people gaining consciousness of the amount of freedom each person can exert to their liking, how do you control such a revolution, so it isn’t damaging in the long run for the same people.

How does one person lose grip of their conscience.

With freedom, one could say, people start behaving in certain ways. And since not everyone is mentally and emotionally mature, they will use their freedom in a negative and damaging way, for themselves and others.

With consumerism, then, people starting sizing each other up by the amount of wealth they had accumulated or what kind of things that person has regardless, in most cases, of what the person is actually like. This is also why people get tired of city life, since everything revolves around money there. Like, a month in Islamabad, Pakistan, is so stressful that I genuinely cannot wait to go back to my country-house. Starting from dawn to dusk, people are running around trying to earn more and more money, much more than they need.

With consumerism spreading all over the world, all our wants have taken a hundred-fold rise and we just cant stop. Ad campaigns, businesses, business schools, even scientists now are creating things that will somehow sell. Everything is about money, and that sure as hell is tiring and pathetic.

I know so many people who are so rich that it’s mind-boggling, but what has become of them as people? Have they become some supreme human beings? Do they know more about this universe? Are they trying to fix things? Do they know of the purpose of life? Are they searching for it?

Honestly, we have many reasons now not to respect other people. But we know, that respecting others is very important for many reasons  – one of them could be that it makes that person feel good. We also know that some people actually do deserve it, and some dont. So what do we base our respect on?

Let me quote Quran here, and you shouldn’t have a problem with it even if you aren’t Muslim because one should respect each other:

A good action and a bad action are not the same. Repel the bad with something better and, if there is enmity between you and someone else, he will be like a bosom friend.” (Quran, chapter 41, verse 34)

And on other religions:

“…If God had willed, He would have made you all in one nation and one religion), but that He (God) left you in different religions to compete in good deeds and society benefits. The return of all of you is to God; then He (God) will inform you about that in which you differ” (Quran, Chapter 5, Verse 48)

And:

“Those who spend (freely), whether in prosperity, or in adversity; who restrain anger, and pardon (all) men; for Allah loves those who do good.   (The Noble Quran, 3:134)”


And:

“And when they hear vain talk, they turn away therefrom and say: ‘To us our deeds, and to you yours; peace be to you: we seek not the ignorant.’   (The Noble Quran, 28:55)”

And there are many other verses on how to treat others. But it all comes down to character and if one is aware.

You may even have noticed how in America now they are very much encouraging people to stop using these ‘formalities’ since they are inefficient and a thing of the slower nations and of the past. They think if you want to grow faster and get to the point quicker, then Mr/Mrs./Ms. wont do, you must say Tom, John, Kate, and just directly say their name. Life is too short.

Is life too short for these pleasurable formalities that do nothing but make others feel good and valued? Most of internet hate will go out the window if we start respecting each other on the basis of merit and character. 

Honestly, and personally, I am sick and tired of having to point out basic things like how to eat and how to walk so that it doesn’t pain the eyes or the ears. Just because we are ‘free’ individuals does not mean you can slurp, and be obnoxious. It is very annoying, and I am very sure you feel the same way when others do it. And there are many many other examples to add here, by the by.

This is more of a rant, and I apologize if it was offensive in any way, even the writing. More on this loverly topic later. Peace.

Knowing

Shuttling between two areas can have its advantages and disadvantages. When I was eleven years old my father thought it better to take me and my sister to our village, Baffa (more of a town now, really). We have been living there since then. People in Baffa ask us if we like it better there or in Islamabad, and so do people in Islamabad. There are market places there, as there are in the Capital. People in the village don’t have a purpose, nor do people in the city.

Initially it would confuse us; we would see money and material success in the city, and then we would go back to the village and realize how people in both the places are so very similar. Neither did we become backward by living in the village, nor did we succumb to becoming [the new] modern in the city. Then, what really sets people apart? What, in reality, makes a person?

Of course, as a result both me and my sister feel as if we don’t belong in either of the places, but that is more because we would rather not belong instead of us being incapable. We have friends in the village (Pushtun, by the way), we have friend in this country’s capital, and in many places other than our country alone. We could communicate and relate to everyone as if they were one and the same; we become culture-less. No culture in the world tied us to their beliefs. We had male friends, young friends, and old friends in addition the socially accepted ones and the non.

Why? How?

Knowledge, my friend, the key to all this is knowledge. I know, its a very cliche concept, and most of you have heard it more than once in your life. Some of you might even have been drilled to believe it. But it remains to be a fact – I am a living example.

Somehow, knowing the hows and whys of things gives you a depth in your personality which can come no other way, no m

Shuttling between two areas can have its advantages and disadvantages. When I was eleven years old my father thought it better to take me and my sister to our village, Baffa (more of a town now, really). We have been living there since then. People in Baffa ask us if we like it better there or in Islamabad, and so do people in Islamabad. There are market places there, as there are in the Capital. People in the village don’t have a purpose, nor do people in the city.

Initially it would confuse us; we would see money and material success in the city, and then we would go back to the village and realize how people in both the places are so very similar. Neither did we become backward by living in the village, nor did we succumb to becoming [the new] modern in the city. Then, what really sets people apart? What, in reality, makes a person?

Of course, as a result both me and my sister feel as if we don’t belong in either of the places, but that is more because we would rather not belong instead of us being incapable. We have friends in the village (Pushtun, by the way), we have friend in this country’s capital, and in many places other than our country alone. We could communicate and relate to everyone as if they were one and the same; we become culture-less. No culture in the world tied us to their beliefs. We had male friends, young friends, and old friends in addition the socially accepted ones and the non.

Why? How?

Knowledge, my friend, the key to all this is knowledge. I know, its a very cliche concept, and most of you have heard it more than once in your life. Some of you might even have been drilled to believe it. But it remains to be a fact – I am a living example.

Somehow, knowing the hows and whys of things gives you a depth in your personality which can come no other way, no matter what you do. It brings you great joys too.

The same village has so many girls going to American universities on scholarships that even I was pleasantly surprised that people value knowledge enough to send their well-protected and looked after young girls to strange lands.

Whenever I, personally, have ventured out to learn something or gain knowledge of any kind, whether its reading a Wikipedia page on feminists, or Mozart’s symphonies, I have always, always found joy and satisfaction in it. And the best part? It will never end. So, conclusively, we must all learn and strive to becoming better as our minds gain consciousness of ourselves and our surroundings. Only knowledge can set you apart from others, and the effect it has on your personality. Wouldn’t hurt to try, now, would it?

 

Uncertain Courses

It has come to my sentimental notice that my life is to change course soon. I have no idea what the course is, and am absolutely terrified to find out eventually; the anticipation of it is genuinely overwhelming, but nonetheless, like the good Muslim girl that I am, I shall pay no heed to something that might change me completely and take it in stride. Totally.

For weeks now, dreams (literally) of change and instability have been entertaining me at nights. Falling from stairs (which means instability and insecurity… No sh*t, Sherlock!), and travelling in cars are like second nature to my subconscious. But what my fear is of the unknown – which is of everyone’s, I know. I could draw a million likely changes that my life could take, and where I would lead it from there. Life can be so random that you can literally, literally expect anything. And that is freaky.

On a side note, there is another very important and likely possibility that is worth mentioning since it probably is attracting millions of people, consciously or not: the need for your soul to be on the straight and right path. If you, like me , believe in an afterlife, and that the only thing we will take from here with us is our personality’s imprint on our souls, then you want to bloody concentrate on having the best imprint out there so you end up with a good start-up for your next, and very much real, life ahead.

It could be that our souls are yearning for some purpose in life, to have a goal, an aim for our minds to work towards. Be it going to the moon, or finding a cure for the common cold, we all need a purpose. We all have questions regarding the reason of our existence the minute we enter gain consciousness of the raw world, usually during our teens, if not earlier. Now it solely depends on the human being what shape it wants to give to these thoughts. Wont blame you if you decide to ignore them and carry on with your everyday life, thinking its too much of a hassle to look for a meaning behind all this; millions have done it before you, and millions will do after, no biggie. Or is it?

Right now, there are many things I would like to adapt into my person and bring about some tangible changes, as well as in my personal being. But what if this change, which I keep dreaming of and my subconscious – or soul, if you may – keeps warning me about is too great, too far-reached for me. What if cowardice takes place; what if the change is so minor that I don’t even notice it, and hence, don’t get a chance to foster it. The fact that our souls are like proofs, and somewhat windows, to the life beyond is freaky, and especially unnecessary right now since all I can think of, and worry about, is the sodded change of direction my life is to take — that is if we were take dreams as seriously as that — which may or may not even take place soon, or at all for that matter!

In this life, the unknown, and the [unquestionable] fear of it are somethings that everyone has to deal with everyday. Hell, we don’t even know if we are going to sleep through the night without any doubts of physical insecurities. Day in and day out the only thing we have under our control is our own decisions, whose reactions and effects are still unknown to us. Even if you worry every second of every day, all your life, you will still never ever know what is not known to you at the time. It will reveal itself in time – maybe even posthumously – depending on many, many things of which most will also be unknown to you. But that insecurity that something might go wrong, the unshakable feeling that you might not be successful, maybe your decision was not correct, will feed on your insides with no solutions or answers to replace that information retrieving void in the decision-making part of your brain. So you will always be functioning with some [very much] variable factors of the situation unknown to you, maybe even during the decision is in effect; it could also be that you never, in the duration of your life, earn awareness of the millions of events that had taken place (in total) when it came to the decision of that one single, maybe even small, question.

Enter faith, religion, and other, worthy beliefs.

General Ramblings & Some Independence

 

Surrounded by a society that does not care what they made this country for, today, I feel nothing but a powerful will to make the best out of my life and let nothing stand in the way to my doing something right with it and hopefully taking some people along.

Ignorance is a disease – contagious and ever-spreading. It’s easy to succumb to being lazy: lazy about life, the truth, your surroundings, relations with people, great thoughts and ideas etc. It has a cure, like most deluding diseases, but people might not want to embrace it as a sickness.. yet. Finding a purpose in life leads many a man to be great, or many a great man to go astray. Either way, everyone admires and appreciates both’s efforts since they are suffering from what everyone else is suffering from: not having a purpose in life, wondering if there is actually a Creator, then why has he abandoned us?, thinking they will never be satisfied with anything, which is fairly true, without knowing the ultimate answer to the question: where did we come from? Who created us? Who is He? Or are we on our own.

But the real question is: why are human beings asking these questions instead of looking and searching?

Some dont want to believe in a God at all, some have too much pride to let the go in search for something that might not exist, some are in denial, some dont want to disillude themselves by believing that there is a world beyond and greater than this, some are unfortunately ignorant, some are not meant to find the answers because they have not a positive intention, but all feel lost and abandoned.

But the one’s who genuinely want to believe find the answer in everything that surrounds them. There is a God, whether you like it or not, and there is a day of judgement, whether you like it or not.

I personally believe truly in the Quran to be God’s word. So were all the other three books, but they have been tampered with over the years. An Indian philosopher came up with the conclusion that the Quran is locked by the time table of the number 19. Everything is divisible by it and hence, if it is changed, the entire structure will fall.

As a mere example to act as proof:

And we sent down from the sky water (rain) in (due) measure, and we gave it lodging in the earth, and verily, we are Able to take it away. – Sûrat Al-Mu’minûn- verse 18

Its a scientifically known fact that when planet Earth was initially made there was no water on it. It has come later and never has its quantity increased or decreased.

And He it is Who has created the night and the day, and the sun and the moon, each in an orbit floating. – Surat Al-Anbiya’ (The Prophets):33

No secret there.

Not trying to be a fascist here, sorry if I seem to be behaving like one, but in order to believe something you have to go all the way, there’s no middle ground where you can merge two thoughts. They have to be separate, and you have to be sincere to one.

Please dont take offence. These are all personal views that I genuinely believe in. If you dont agree then you can let me know why, but it isnt meant to force.

What do you think about people’s behavior towards finding a purpose to life?

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The universe… Oh, man, the universe. Where do I begin! The stars, galaxies, planets, systems, everything – they are so, so beautiful. And all for us.

Our galaxy: The Milky Way

Can you imagine a Creator, whoever he is, creating all that just for us to play in it (discovering it, obviously)? Most scientists, who are not stuck in denial or pride, agree that all this is not just a natural occurrence, it has all been created. And the fact that we have an ozone layer is proof (if you want it to be). If it were not for the ozone layer protecting Earth’s surface’s direct contact with the Sun, we would all die within days and this Earth would have no life, whatsoever.

The ozone layer is sort of unnatural. It almost seems as a later added sunscreen so the planet can live in a moderate weather which is supportive to life. No other planet has such a screen. We know that water didnt exist on the planet, now the ozone layer? The Earth was probably an uninhabitable round ball of lava covered with mud and mountain pegging the earth to stay in place, as mentioned in the Quran.

Moving on.. Yesterday I stepped out of the house into the lawn since Cherie, my cat, wanted to attend to some private business on the sand and she doesnt like to go it alone. Anyway, so when I was waiting for her to free herself from it, my eyes just rested on the house and then I lifted them to the sky.

What my mind registered made me teary.

There was a blanket of inky blue-black sky stretched over wherever my eyes could reach, dotted with brilliant twinkling, glittery stars. It was a proper fairy tale, and left me speechless for many a minute till I ran in to call Dad and make him see what I saw.

What a gift. What a marvelous, poetic and romantic gift.

Click to zoom.

We don’t appreciate it enough. Honestly.

AND STOP USING SPRAYS IF YOU WANT TO SAVE THIS PLANET, MAN! (AMONG OTHER DAMAGING STUFF).

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SISTER! 

AND HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY, PAKISTAN, AND MY LOVELY, FELLOW COUNTRY MEN!

A LOVELY YEAR AWAITS. 

 

Revised Revelation: Positivity

Before you start off, thinking ‘oh, same old, same old. I know this’, give this blog post a fair read 🙂
 

As of recent events, my mind is reeling with reasoning and information concerning the revised memory, and flashback (of sorts), of an adjective fairly well known, and consequently, lacking in today’s world as a verb: positivity.

Now, we all can have different stand points when it comes to positivity’s absence in our world, and in our people, and they all are most probably true. But the most personal one out of them all is when it affects you from within. When it strikes your core, and numbs your mind. When it leaves you feeling like no one understands you, everything is wrong, and nothing is going to end up well. The shy, and timid might curl up inside their warm blanket; the bold and frazzled might want to hurl things, or at least harsh remarks on others – both these resolutions do not solve anything, in fact, they will leave you even more frustrated and feeling guilty on missing out on life and hurting others’ feelings, respectively.

I went for the latter, it seemed more honest. That was my excuse. It isn’t honest, its actually dishonest, since you’re not fighting what has made you act that way, but instead fight other people concerning topics that are not even related to the cause. How long can dance around the object that’s to blame for your negativity, or lack of positivity? Not very long, if you’re smart.

The (true) servants of (God) the Most Gracious are those who walk on the earth in humility, and when the ignorant address them, reply with (words of) peace.”
— The Holy Quran, 25:63.

Family and friends are the ones who suffer when such a thing passes through even one person – has to land on someone, right? But, should it? Isn’t it your mess to fix? It is. And no one else should suffer because of you. I am sure your friends and family will understand and forgive, but that does not mean one can take that for granted and keep doing whatever comes to our mind becuase we are trying to fight our own demons, or under stress, or just feel good intimidating while we are wimps inside. That just isn’t how it works, and will never work that way.

So, the best solution would be to figure out what is making you the way you are, and tweak the negativities out so that no one, including you, gets hurt, and has an odd mental image of a messed up period in his or her lifetime. That just isn’t fair.

“And among His signs is this: that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest and peace of mind in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Certainly, herein indeed are signs for people who reflect.”
 The Qur’an in Ar Rum, Chapter 30, verse 21.

As you might know, I am teaching a few local kids at my house – fixing up their English and Mathematics – and what I realized today left me gaping and my brain in a whirl, with a hint of smile in a positively bemused fashion. These kids, who had never seen water paints or Disney channel, never had a Dairy Milk (which I realized, as well, I should make happen since they would be really missing out), and never will have an adolescent life, were genuinely, from within, positive – and positively radiating due to it, too! Soon I was thinking about how teaching them never bores, or tires me, or leaves me unsatisfied, which further proved my theory since their positivity had a positive effect on me – hell, I would even study much more later than other days. Instead, we have a wonderful relationship in the making. Oh, and they laugh at the slightest of things – you would be surprised to see how fine-tuned they are to their surroundings, so that does not mean they are blocking off hurtful substances. We can say that their life is more or less like an animal’s and therefore, have little depth as compared to the problems the ‘actual’ world is facing. And I would agree, but, don’t you think they have tapped on the one and only solution that will turn us into a superior being? For them life is simple – but, in reality as well, if you think about it, life is simple. I am not talking about the making money process, but your personal growth, which fertilizes all sorts of growths to mature and form in a successful and impressive object. We all try to avoid pain and pursue/seek pleasure – it’s animal, yes, but there is nothing wrong with it. This is how we survive and grow. And by God, if it were not for emotions, our lives would be so dull! Think about it!

But.. There’s always a but.. We must not let our emotions rule our minds. They are a part of our brain, not the brain part of it. Sure, they channel some thoughts and ‘impressions’, as David Hume terms them in The Treatise of Human Nature, which lead to bigger and better (or worse) ideas that would not have been satisfactory enough otherwise. Take caring: when we care for someone or something, that person/thing we will remain sentimental towards as long as we, ourselves, choose to remain attached to them. Like I said, we rule what goes on in our brains. Take moods – yes, sure, they can be annoying at times and you miht to kill someone when you are having a bad day and they are doing nothing but ‘irritating’ you, or they would not leave you alone when you want to be, but that is just it – does it really matter all that much to actually act upon your ‘feelings’ towards certain situations? I am not talking ‘inklings’ and intuition, rather, am talking about emotions like love, hate, anger, hurt, jealousy etc..

Would it be fair to act on them using your emotions, instead of your rational mind’s conjectures upon peopl, situations, environments, behaviors, problems and the like?

I think not.

If you don’t stand up for something, you’ll fall for anything. 
Malcolm X.

Laziness is a mental state where we dont want to move around for no particular, logical reason. Our body simply wants us to save all our energy to hunt for food later – yes, just like animals so we are tempted to sit… And get addicted, since it reassures us ‘oh, life keeps going on whether we get up and clean the room or not’. Life will move ahead, will you?

Truly is disgusting when I come across someone who prides their-self to be lazy and egotistical, and all that bull they are coming up with these days. It is suffocating and annoying when everyone acts like a wonderful genius, that he surely must be or he would not call himself a genius, right?

Should stop here.. This has begun to sound more like a rant. But really, people these days are – exasperating. 

“People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
… Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
… Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
… Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
… Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
… Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
… Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
… Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.”
— Mother Theresa.

So, anywho, we were talking about positivity (oh, the irony), and we should return. It has been a few days since my father and I spoke my recent behavior towards, uhm, everyone. He doesnt actually blame me, but even I have started to see people mentally bracing up before they speak to me. Its entertaining but I would rather not make this a lifestyle/habit. Again, it is suffocating. Trying hard to fight the urge to, well, fight – and mostly failing, but I am finally at peace that I am on the right track towards positivity.

Make your character good for the people.“                             Prophet Muhammad (s) as narrated Al-Muwatta, Volume 47, Hadith 1

Your mental state says a lot about the person you were, are, and going to become. And if someone has the same mental state since they were in their teens or twenties, well, I really feel sorry for the fact that you are mssing out on all the challenges, and evidently adventurous stuff, brother.

Not saying that you should be hypocritical and act your way around, so that people may think you are a positive person, but in fact, you are really.. sad. There’s no need for that. Let people know how you feel, but don’t be miserable and annoying about it. It’s all right t have issues, and problems, that is all part of life. Accept them, find solutions or ways to get along with them and move on. Do not linger.

Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value.
—  Einstein.

Honestly, though, be positive. If one believes that there is a God and he’s watching over us, then we really have nothing to feel negative about, do we? We don’t need to stress out, since we know that their is a plan and purpose, and all this madness around us is closely monitored and tweaked slightly, even. Don’t let small emotional lock ups, or pent up emotions, or ‘a bad day’ ruin other people’s moods – don’t even think about hurting them. It is hard, I will tell you that, but OH-SO WORTH IT. And it will bring success to you, since your mind will have more space and energy to process what’s productive then being miserable. Oh, the advantages are wonderful.

 

The cup is genuinely, really half full 🙂