As of recent events, my mind is reeling with reasoning and information concerning the revised memory, and flashback (of sorts), of an adjective fairly well known, and consequently, lacking in today’s world as a verb: positivity.
Now, we all can have different stand points when it comes to positivity’s absence in our world, and in our people, and they all are most probably true. But the most personal one out of them all is when it affects you from within. When it strikes your core, and numbs your mind. When it leaves you feeling like no one understands you, everything is wrong, and nothing is going to end up well. The shy, and timid might curl up inside their warm blanket; the bold and frazzled might want to hurl things, or at least harsh remarks on others – both these resolutions do not solve anything, in fact, they will leave you even more frustrated and feeling guilty on missing out on life and hurting others’ feelings, respectively.
I went for the latter, it seemed more honest. That was my excuse. It isn’t honest, its actually dishonest, since you’re not fighting what has made you act that way, but instead fight other people concerning topics that are not even related to the cause. How long can dance around the object that’s to blame for your negativity, or lack of positivity? Not very long, if you’re smart.
Family and friends are the ones who suffer when such a thing passes through even one person – has to land on someone, right? But, should it? Isn’t it your mess to fix? It is. And no one else should suffer because of you. I am sure your friends and family will understand and forgive, but that does not mean one can take that for granted and keep doing whatever comes to our mind becuase we are trying to fight our own demons, or under stress, or just feel good intimidating while we are wimps inside. That just isn’t how it works, and will never work that way.
So, the best solution would be to figure out what is making you the way you are, and tweak the negativities out so that no one, including you, gets hurt, and has an odd mental image of a messed up period in his or her lifetime. That just isn’t fair.
“And among His signs is this: that He created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest and peace of mind in them, and He ordained between you love and mercy. Certainly, herein indeed are signs for people who reflect.”
The Qur’an in Ar Rum, Chapter 30, verse 21.
As you might know, I am teaching a few local kids at my house – fixing up their English and Mathematics – and what I realized today left me gaping and my brain in a whirl, with a hint of smile in a positively bemused fashion. These kids, who had never seen water paints or Disney channel, never had a Dairy Milk (which I realized, as well, I should make happen since they would be really missing out), and never will have an adolescent life, were genuinely, from within, positive – and positively radiating due to it, too! Soon I was thinking about how teaching them never bores, or tires me, or leaves me unsatisfied, which further proved my theory since their positivity had a positive effect on me – hell, I would even study much more later than other days. Instead, we have a wonderful relationship in the making. Oh, and they laugh at the slightest of things – you would be surprised to see how fine-tuned they are to their surroundings, so that does not mean they are blocking off hurtful substances. We can say that their life is more or less like an animal’s and therefore, have little depth as compared to the problems the ‘actual’ world is facing. And I would agree, but, don’t you think they have tapped on the one and only solution that will turn us into a superior being? For them life is simple – but, in reality as well, if you think about it, life is simple. I am not talking about the making money process, but your personal growth, which fertilizes all sorts of growths to mature and form in a successful and impressive object. We all try to avoid pain and pursue/seek pleasure – it’s animal, yes, but there is nothing wrong with it. This is how we survive and grow. And by God, if it were not for emotions, our lives would be so dull! Think about it!
But.. There’s always a but.. We must not let our emotions rule our minds. They are a part of our brain, not the brain part of it. Sure, they channel some thoughts and ‘impressions’, as David Hume terms them in The Treatise of Human Nature, which lead to bigger and better (or worse) ideas that would not have been satisfactory enough otherwise. Take caring: when we care for someone or something, that person/thing we will remain sentimental towards as long as we, ourselves, choose to remain attached to them. Like I said, we rule what goes on in our brains. Take moods – yes, sure, they can be annoying at times and you miht to kill someone when you are having a bad day and they are doing nothing but ‘irritating’ you, or they would not leave you alone when you want to be, but that is just it – does it really matter all that much to actually act upon your ‘feelings’ towards certain situations? I am not talking ‘inklings’ and intuition, rather, am talking about emotions like love, hate, anger, hurt, jealousy etc..
Would it be fair to act on them using your emotions, instead of your rational mind’s conjectures upon peopl, situations, environments, behaviors, problems and the like?
I think not.
If you don’t stand up for something, you’ll fall for anything.
Laziness is a mental state where we dont want to move around for no particular, logical reason. Our body simply wants us to save all our energy to hunt for food later – yes, just like animals – so we are tempted to sit… And get addicted, since it reassures us ‘oh, life keeps going on whether we get up and clean the room or not’. Life will move ahead, will you?
Truly is disgusting when I come across someone who prides their-self to be lazy and egotistical, and all that bull they are coming up with these days. It is suffocating and annoying when everyone acts like a wonderful genius, that he surely must be or he would not call himself a genius, right?
Should stop here.. This has begun to sound more like a rant. But really, people these days are – exasperating.
“People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;
… Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
… Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
… Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
… Be honest and frank anyway.
What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
… Build anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
… Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
… Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
… Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.
You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;
It was never between you and them anyway.”
— Mother Theresa.
So, anywho, we were talking about positivity (oh, the irony), and we should return. It has been a few days since my father and I spoke my recent behavior towards, uhm, everyone. He doesnt actually blame me, but even I have started to see people mentally bracing up before they speak to me. Its entertaining but I would rather not make this a lifestyle/habit. Again, it is suffocating. Trying hard to fight the urge to, well, fight – and mostly failing, but I am finally at peace that I am on the right track towards positivity.
“Make your character good for the people.“ Prophet Muhammad (s) as narrated Al-Muwatta, Volume 47, Hadith 1
Your mental state says a lot about the person you were, are, and going to become. And if someone has the same mental state since they were in their teens or twenties, well, I really feel sorry for the fact that you are mssing out on all the challenges, and evidently adventurous stuff, brother.
Not saying that you should be hypocritical and act your way around, so that people may think you are a positive person, but in fact, you are really.. sad. There’s no need for that. Let people know how you feel, but don’t be miserable and annoying about it. It’s all right t have issues, and problems, that is all part of life. Accept them, find solutions or ways to get along with them and move on. Do not linger.
Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value.
Honestly, though, be positive. If one believes that there is a God and he’s watching over us, then we really have nothing to feel negative about, do we? We don’t need to stress out, since we know that their is a plan and purpose, and all this madness around us is closely monitored and tweaked slightly, even. Don’t let small emotional lock ups, or pent up emotions, or ‘a bad day’ ruin other people’s moods – don’t even think about hurting them. It is hard, I will tell you that, but OH-SO WORTH IT. And it will bring success to you, since your mind will have more space and energy to process what’s productive then being miserable. Oh, the advantages are wonderful.
The cup is genuinely, really half full 🙂
- How Do Words, such as Yes and No, Change Our Brains and Lives? (sharpbrains.com)
- Choosing Forgiveness (beyousimplybetter.wordpress.com)
- A Meditation on Forgiveness (momentsofexhilaration.com)
- The power of Forgiveness (paradoxicalwisdom.wordpress.com)
- How to Manage Change That Is Beyond Our Control (coalitionofpositiveenergy.com)
- Just Be Happy? Striking a Balance with Positive Psychology… (psychcentral.com)
- Why Not . . . Challenge Yourself? Part Deux (thesimplyluxuriouslife.com)
- “You Can’t Go Around Judging People” (cilla44.wordpress.com)
- Oats, Hume on miracles, and a lunch reunion (rachelandra.wordpress.com)
- Geeky Brain Stuff: “Emotions promote social interaction by synchronizing brain activity across individuals” like music – duh (kevinkindsongs.com)
- Control Your Thoughts (prosperousworld.wordpress.com)
- 3 Ways to Make yourself Happier and more Positive in Life (psychologymatters.asia)
- Brain Mystery: UNSOLVED! (marvcabrera.com)
- Focus on the NEGATIVE. (healthdemystified.wordpress.com)
- The philosopher-strategist and the philosopher-tactician: Hume and Žižek (wetwiring.wordpress.com)
- Seeking Life Balance in Motherhood (joyofspa.com)